Appreciate What You Receive

‘Tis the season for gift giving and returning! Many of us forget the true meaning of the holiday and turn it into a commercial holiday and all about presents. I know I love the commerciality of it all and get caught up in decorating the house, baking, Christmas music, and buying and receiving presents. But with receiving presents can often lead to re-gifting or returning, which I have learned is NEVER a good idea.

I’m not a habitual re-gifter and haven’t done so in forever, but it’s a no-no. But when you re-gift you have to worry about accidentally leaving something linked to the original giver, questions about where you got it, etc. And if you’re like me, I’m a horrible liar and am pretty sure people can tell when I’m not telling the truth.

And returning gifts isn’t nice either. When I was younger I returned LOTS of gifts (and to my family members who may be reading this, don’t fret, none of them were from you). I hadn’t returned gifts in a long time, but now that I’m on my own and in an apartment with not much storage, I just don’t have the room for stuff I don’t need or will never use. But either way, you feel bad about yourself if you return a gift and here’s why:

The person spent too little on you. I recall one Christmas where I returned a pair of pajamas I received as a Christmas present from a family member (again, this is not any of you that may be reading this). I was in my early teens and the pajamas were something I would have worn as a child. When I returned them, I got a whopping $2 back! I don’t remember if I had the gift receipt when I returned the pajamas, but I didn’t feel too good about myself. I am only worth $2 to that person? And even if they did spend more than $2 (if I didn’t have my gift receipt), they couldn’t have originally been that much more expensive that they were reduced to $2!

The person spent too much on you. As crappy as I felt about the $2 pajamas, I felt even worse when I returned a present and the 1 item cost more than all of the gifts I bought for the person. It felt great having the cashier give me cash back, but I felt bad about how much this particular person spent on me! I just keep hoping Money Bags was re-gifting and didn’t spend that much or I feel super cheap!

My point is, we should all appreciate what we receive from our loved ones and what we have already been given in life. We need to step back and look at the bigger picture and be thankful for everything we have already been blessed with. P.S. Mom, if you’re reading this, this doesn’t mean you don’t have to buy me presents next year. :-)

Company Holiday Party Etiquette

It's that time of year again: the company holiday party! Whether or not you're looking forward to it, it's usually a good Monday morning conversation piece (or even a pre-party conversation piece: taking bets who is going to make a fool of themselves, hook up, etc.).

Last year my department was given a funny handout of "what not to do at a company holiday party." I was hoping I still had it, but unfortunately, I threw it out. However, I did some searching and found a similar list on a message board forum. If you haven't had your company holiday party yet, please keep these tips in mind unless your New Year's resolution is to find a new job. :-)

Hit the bottle. Especially if you are not used to drinking and three or four glasses could make you lose many of your inhibitions. Do you really feel like seeing digital photographs of yourself half-dressed doing a Madonna impersonation on the remnants of the drinks table?

Hit on somebody. If you've been eyeing the new marketing manager for six months, but just couldn't get it together to ask her out, this is not the opportunity. She's not going to take you seriously, and will merely think only Dutch courage made you do it.

Spill the beans about your personal life. Details of your personal life should not be discussed with colleagues. A few drinks may let you tell the wrong person you're having an affair or you don't get on with your stepchildren or your mother has a drinking problem. Tomorrow it will probably be doing the rounds in the mailroom or among the cleaning staff.

Talk about work. This is a social occasion with your colleagues, not a planning meeting. Don't be a bore. For one day, people want to forget about budgets, sagging sales and looming retrenchments.

Buffet bonanza. Just because you're not paying doesn't mean you have to pig out until you're as round as a barrel. Have a good time, but don't behave as if you've been stranded on a deserted island for a week. The last thing you want to do is to throw up on the managing director's shoes as you leave the party. This is not a smart career move. More or less in the same vein is stuffing your handbag full of food – this merely makes you look greedy and uncouth.

Ask for a raise. Just because the boss is smiling for the first time in six months doesn't mean this is a good time to talk to him about your increased salary expectations. This simply is not the time and it's also not the place.

Taking a souvenir. This is a killer. Just because the company has booked out the restaurant for the afternoon, doesn't give you the right to remove anything. Cutlery, table decorations, napkins – they still belong to the restaurant. Taking them amounts to theft. And how do you explain the spoon cascading from your sleeve as you leave the restaurant?

Have it out with someone. Your archrival is sitting diagonally opposite you at the table and having this person in such close proximity just lets the dam wall burst. Cataloguing your long list of grievances between the starter and the main course will spoil the dinner for everyone, and even if your rival's antics would put Attilla the Hun to shame, you're the one to end up looking foolish.

Karaoke crisis. If you can't sing outside the shower, stick to it. If you are a budding Pavarotti, you would have been discovered before this party. A drunken singalong, or even worse, a drunken solo, will do little for your general esteem in the office.

Reciprocate advances from married colleagues. Just don't go down this road. It always ends in heartbreak and drama and will make colleagues lose respect for you. It also complicates the working situation if the person who has to decide on your promotion knows what you look like with no clothes on.

Let it all hang out. If you're usually dressed in semi-formal work gear, by all means go casual for the Christmas party. But don't look as if you're about to audition for a position as a lap dancer at the local strip joint.

Display your exotic dancing skills. Even if you know what you're doing, this kind of dancing best happens behind closed doors between consenting adults. It will be difficult for you to reprimand someone later for being hung over at work, if they can remember stuffing R10-notes into your underwear.

Be antisocial. Even if parties like these are not your favourite pastime, make an effort to be jolly and sociable. Chat to many people and try and have a good time. Don't corner one individual and bore them with endless details of your flyfishing tip.

Drinking and driving. Unless you fancy spending a night or two in the local slammer, sharing a cell with people you wouldn't open the front door to, just don't get in behind the steering wheel if you've had one too many. Call a taxi or get a lift with someone else. Remember there is nothing that sobers you up so quickly as realising that you've run someone over. – Susan Erasmus, Health24

Courtesy of My Broadband Forums.

And for your laughing pleasure, another list that is just humorous: How to Avoid Getting Fired at Your Office Christmas Party.

Music is what feelings sound like

Over the weekend I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to pick something up. When I was waiting in line to pay, I was looking at the pictures for sale. One caught my eye and made me think about how true it is – “Music is what feelings sound like.” I could not agree more. I always say I can find a quote or lyric that represents the way I feel at that particular moment. Sometimes when we can’t put our feelings into words, a song can do it for us.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about an ex-boyfriend and all of the things I would like to say to him given the opportunity. I feel like there are a lot of songs out there that could say it better than I could. Too bad it’s not cool to make mix tapes for people anymore. :-) If there were, here is what my playlist would consist of:

White Flag by Dido


All the Way Around by Ali Lohan (yes, I publicly admitted to that…hopefully this won’t affect what little credibility I may have :-))


So Far Away by Nickelback


Right Here by Staind


Cold by Crossfade


If I Had the Chance by Cynthia


I Want You Back by N Sync (not as bad as the Ali Lohan song LOL)


What Hurts the Most by Cascada

REDUCE. REUSE. RECYCLE.

Many people are “going green” now of days, but I’m not referring to helping save the environment when I say “Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.” I often use that phrase when referring to men. I have been single for almost 3 years now. Yes, I’ve gone on lots of dates over the past 3 years and by no means need to be in a relationship, but I’m not going to lie: I get lonely. I have great friends and a wonderful family, but sometimes there’s nothing better than a good hang out with a male companion. And no, I’m not referring to a booty call. Sometimes all it takes is a conversation through texts, going out for a few beers, or watching a movie to make me feel better.

And where do I find these male companions to keep me company?

Simply pull out your phone! I’m pretty sure we all have a friend of the opposite sex that things didn’t work out with on a romantic level, but nothing bad ever caused both parties to stop talking. I know I have a few of these types of people in my phone. Some are from my college years and others I have met since I graduated college.

One thing I have learned over the past couple years is you need to be careful about who you choose to be one of these people. Do NOT pick someone who things didn’t work out with, but you still have feelings for, but know nothing is ever going to happen! You are just setting yourself up for disappointment and heart ache. Trust me. And if you’re thinking otherwise, delete him/her from your phone now!

So it’s your turn to tell me about some of your “Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.” person(s) of choice!

She's Just Not that Into You Part 2

Have you ever had an amazing date (or what you thought was an amazing date) and then don't hear from the person? I think everyone has encountered this at least once (if not multiple times). I know I have. And most of us dwell on the situation. What went wrong? Why isn't he calling? Maybe he's just really busy? I know I've wished guys would just be straight up with me and tell me they're not interested instead of me playing a guessing game and my self-esteem getting a kick in the ass. However, what if someone was straight up honest with you? Maybe sometimes it's better not knowing why someone didn't call after your date.

On my drive to work this morning, I was listening to a morning radio show. Now, I rarely listen to it since the infamous Eddie and JoBo got canned (again...*tear*), but I'll turn it on every now and then. I'm not sure if this is a regular segment on the show, but this guy called in because he went on a date with this chick a couple days ago and has been trying to call her since, but no answer or call backs. The guy and the morning show hosts call the girl and she picked up. At first the morning show hosts didn't say anything. Basically, the guy calls the girl while she's at work and he asks how she's been. She sounds extremely flustered. She apologizes and said she's been busy and her work schedule has changed. After a few moments of her feeling uncomfortable, the morning show hosts jump in. Needless to say, they get her to say why she hasn't called. Here are a few bullet points of her date and what not to do in the future!

• The two went to Applebees and the guy "swayed" her into ordering from the 2 for $20 menu. Now, I'm not knocking the 2 for $20 menu. I understand the economy sucks and most of us are on budgets. However, I do not think you should ever "sway" or make someone order from a specific menu...especially on a first date!!!
• He left a tip that was less than 10%. If you received poor service, I can maybe understand that. I have never been a waitress or had an occupation where a majority of my income comes from tips, but waiters and waitresses depend on those tips to get by! If anything, I would think someone would over tip to try and show off on a first date!
• The girl did compliment him on that he was cute. The guy proceeded to ask, "Well, if you thought I was cute and I thought you were cute, why didn't you kiss me if we're both attracted to each other?" Apparently, on the date she said she doesn't kiss on the first date. On the radio she went on to say his breath smelled. If you're going to try and kiss someone, make sure you have a mint or gum! And to make things worse, she didn't describe his breath as "bad" or "smelly" she described it as pungent!

I'm sure the guy was kicking himself for finding out the truth. Yes, maybe he got closure out of knowing the real reason she hasn't returned his calls and can work on these things that turned her off, but it's his own fault for trying to find out on the radio! Now anyone listening to B96 this morning on their way to work knows his business!

So question is: Would you rather know or not know the real reason someone is blowing/blew you off?

Oh Fall, how I love thee...

Fall/Autumn is by far my favorite season.

• It's not hot, but it's not cold. I love the brisk, cool air.
• Comfy clothes: hoodies and velour jogging suits. Can't get enough of them!
• I can still get away with flip flops on some days.
• Halloween festivities. Who doesn't love being creative and getting dressed up? And it's the one day of the year women aren't looked down upon (as much) for dressing slutty.
• Fall reminds me of good memories. Although I am no longer dating my first serious boyfriend, we started dating in the fall and had a blast.
• Thanksgiving. It's one of my favorite holidays. I love preparing and cooking for the holiday, spending time with the fam, and not having to worry about buying presents for anyone (However, my Nonna gives all of us money to buy our Christmas gifts). Oh, and not to mention the day before and after Thanksgiving (Black Wednesday - one of the biggest going out nights of the year; Black Friday - shopping and sales extravaganza!)
  

However, with Fall it means that winter is just around the corner. As much as I love skiing and decorating, baking, and shopping for Christmas, I despise winter!

• It's freezing! Not to mention I work downtown right by the lake and it's always a million times colder there.
• Slush. When the snow gets all mooshy and dirty, slush is absolutely disgusting. Especially when you fall in it walking to the train and your toosh is wet the whole train ride home.
• Driving. It takes forever to warm your car up (unless you're a lucky bastard who has an automatic start). And it takes three times longer to get anywhere when it snows or there are icy roads.
• You don't get snow days when you're an adult.
• You're broke from buying Christmas presents.
• You can't wear flip flops anymore and are subject to wearing big, bulky jackets.

And You Got Married Why?

As long as I could remember, I've always wanted to get married and have babies. When I started college my plan was to date someone throughout college, graduate and get engaged, be engaged for a year, and then be married by the time I was 23. Clearly, that hasn't happened considering I just turned 24. Surprisingly enough, I am OK with that. If I would have gotten engaged around 21 or 22, I highly doubt I would have remained engaged or married to that person for the simple fact that I was still growing up and learning who I am. But that also doesn't mean that I don't hope to meet the man of my dreams sometime soon. :-)

Maybe you shouldn't be married if...

Just because you get pregnant/get someone pregnant does not mean you have to get married. OK, so you're not married and you got pregnant/got someone pregnant. Yes, that's complicated and stressful. But why complicate things even further by getting married?! If you love the person, go for it, but do not marry someone just because you have a bun in the oven/knocked someone up.

Second semester of my senior year of college, one of my girlfriends set me up with a friend of hers. He was just my type: Italian, good looking, and last, but certainly not least: a deuschbag. We talked on and off for about a year and a half and then I just had enough. Well, about a month ago. I met up with my friend whom I haven't seen since graduation. We were talking and she asked me if I still talk to Mr. Deuschbag. I responded no and proceeded to tell her what happened. She was surprised by everything and her sister chimed in with, "You're better off, he's going to be a Daddy!"

Mind you, this man can barely wipe his own ass let alone take care of a baby! My friend told me the gossip she had heard about the situation. Apparently, Mr. Deuschbag asked one of his friends, "Do I gotta marry her?" His friend responded with, "Well, if you care about her and want to live together and raise a family you can, but you don't have to." Mr. Deuschbag responded with, "Well, she has insurance." Lovely. Don't we all wish we had a man as romantic as him?

If you have a crush on someone and hate anyone who talks to him. I was recently told by my best friend that a girl we know does not like me because I was talking and flirting with a guy we all know. YOU ARE MARRIED!! YOU SHOULD NOT CARE!! AND IF YOU DO, MAYBE YOU SHOULD NOT BE MARRIED! Yes, the guy is good looking. Yes, I was flirting. But honestly, just because I'm flirting with someone does not mean I'm interested. And just because we were flirting does not mean anything happened! We flirted and talked at a get together, went to another bar for drinks (where I had other friends there), and he drove me to my car. We ended the night with a hug. I think someone not liking me for that reason as absolutely ludicrous! SERIOUSLY?!

If you are grabbing girls' butts. Last week I met up with a friend for a few after work cocktails. We only work a few blocks from each other and there was an Oktoberfest celebration going on nearby. My friend was with a couple of his co-workers and invited a few other friends who work nearby as well. One of his co-workers was married, but clearly his wife and child at home did not stop him from grabbing 2 of the girls' butts. After he did so, they both shot him a look. My big mouth proceeded to say, "Hey! Isn't that a ring on your finger?" He replied, "Yeah, so what?" SO WHAT?! It is one thing to innocently flirt with a woman, but to touch and grab is a no no! After I called him out, he moved onto hitting on me. I know I just said innocently flirting is OK, but there is a limit to it. It is hard to offend me, but when you offend me and make me completely uncomfortable, you've drawn the line. And then I proceed to make you look like a fool by yelling, "B, get him away from me or I'm going to punch him!"

I understand, not everyone is perfect. I'm by no means perfect and have effed up in relationships a countless number of times. However, if you're not ready to be in a committed relationship and get your act together, maybe you're not ready to be married. Since I've never been married, I'm no expert on the issue, but I do know that you shouldn't marry someone because of their benefits, got them preggers, are in love with someone else, or like grabbing women's tooshes...

It's Amazing How Time Changes Things...

Over the past 2 weeks, I have seen 2 exes. The encounter with Ex #2 was no where near as awkward as it was with Ex #1.

Ex #1. My ex and I were extremely close throughout our relationship. We had gotten serious fast (which I truly believe is one of the reasons that caused us to break up) and he became one of my best friends. Nothing was ever awkward between us (we even laughed at the time he accidentally drooled in my mouth while making out). We told each other anything and everything. It really was an amazing relationship and I'm grateful to have had him in my life. However, when I saw him a couple weeks ago, it was by far one of the most awkward experiences. I was working at a town function in my hometown and he came up to the stand I was working with to talk to my 2 best friends. Mind you, he met them through me. And then turns to me and says, "Hi, how are you?" I wish I could have recorded this. Obviously, "Hi, how are you," is a wonderful starting point for a conversation and very polite. However, it was the way he said it and the face he made. I felt like I was someone he really didn't like or was a complete stranger to him. He carried on a conversation with my best friend for a bit and was himself. Yes, I know, we broke up, I shouldn't expect him to be jumping for joy to see me or be overly friendly. But after we broke up, we remained on good terms for several months and several months ago had a long conversation catching up. Everything was fine. So it just made me wonder what the awkwardness was for.

Ex #2. This guy was never per say my boyfriend, but we were seeing each other. He moved to Chicago for work, but had been traveling for work (spending several months in different states to work at the company's different locations). We would see each other frequently when he was back in town for Chicago. We had an amazing time together. We both enjoy eating, so we often tried new restaurants together and were able to just veg out and enjoy each other's company. We sort of drifted apart and stopped talking. We reconnected via Facebook a couple months ago and began talking again because he was going to be back in Chicago this past week. We hung out one night while he was here and it just wasn't the same. We talked and caught up, but that obviously didn't take a long time to do. He barely even tried to kiss me! Granted, I have had a cold and cough, but still!

Between these 2 experiences, it has really made me think how things change over time. We mature and learn from things that happen. Who knew someone you were 100% comfortable with would end up being someone you feel completely awkward around? If someone would have told me I wasn't going to end up with Ex #1 and we wouldn't even be able to have a conversation, I wouldn't have believed them. But shit happens and people change...

False Expectations...

I have a love/hate relationship with "chick flicks." I love them because who doesn't love a happy ending and seeing people hopelessly in love? However, I hate them because they give false expectations for love and relationships in the real world. I'm not saying people can't have their own "fairy tale endings," but come on! How many people really get that?

The reason I bring this up is because a guy I used to date was in town on business and only here for a few days. We had made plans to meet up after his business dinner the first night he was in town, but things were taking longer than he expected. No problem. I would never expect someone to not attend or leave a work function early for a casual get together. Since we didn't get to meet up that night, we agreed to meet up the next night. We made plans for him to come check out my apartment and then head over to a bar nearby that we always used to go to. However, him coming over turned into having to go to an event after his conference and then taking his co-workers out for dinner.

I'm not going to lie, I was bummed. I sat on my couch watching TV and thought, "Maybe he'll call later and tell me to buzz him in because he's outside and wanted to surprise me." And then I thought, "You fool! That type of thing only happens in movies." And I was right. He never showed up to surprise me.

I think chick flicks and romance movies are great to get you out of reality for a moment. I also think they can make you more optomistic about things. However, they're also a real let down when you realize your average Joe Schmo probably isn't going to turn out to be Prince Charming or be as passionate as Noah from The Notebook...

You’ve Lived Here How Long?

I love visiting New York and it seems like whenever I go, I do some sort of sight seeing (mainly because I go with different friends each trip and they want to experience all of the NYC attractions). When I chat with my friends who live in New York and tell them about all of the places we went on the trip, I usually get, “Hmm…I’ve never been there.” I was shocked that one of my friends had never been to the top of the Empire State Building. But then I thought about how I’ve never been to a lot of the popular attractions in Chicago. I recently moved to the city, but lived in a suburb 20 minutes west of the city my entire life. There’s really no reason why I shouldn’t have never been to the John Hancock Building or to the Art Institute of Chicago (especially since I work a couple blocks away).

My goal at the beginning of the summer was to experience a lot of things Chicago has to offer that I’ve never done before (or rarely get to do) now that I live and work in the city. I compiled a list of things to do and places to see.

Museums. I love museums, but never go. When I was a kid, I used to always go with my childhood best friend and her family to the Museum of Science and Industry and Field Museum (I believe they were members). Museums are a great place to go because you can go any time of the year and not have to worry about the weather (but should probably avoid Winter, Spring, and Summer vacations when the kiddies are out of school). You get to enjoy and learn something.

I’m not really into art, but would like to go to the Art Institute of Chicago. One, it’s a couple blocks from where I work. Two, I’ve been to a few art museums in Rome and it would be nice to experience one in the states as well. Three (and probably my main reason for wanting to go), is because I am reading The Time Traveler’s Wife, which takes place in Chicago and the Art Institute is referenced throughout the book.

Lincoln Park Zoo. I love the zoo! I’ve been to the Lincoln Park Zoo before, but can go over and over again (as long as you keep me away from the reptile house)! It’s free and a bus ride away (I really don’t take the bus, but do know how to take the 151 which I can pick up right by my apartment and drops me off right in front of the zoo).

Millennium and Grant Parks. There are always fun and exciting things going on there (music festivals, dance classes, movies, etc.) and just peaceful in general. My goal the past few winters is to go ice skating, but it’s never happened. This is the year I will make it happen!! I also love Buckingham Fountain. Not to mention they’re both right by my work.

Navy Pier. I’ve been to Navy Pier on countless occasions, but still enjoy going (although I could go without riding the Ferris Wheel again).

The Beach. I’ve been to the beach once this summer. Granted, we haven’t had the greatest summer weather-wise, but there were a lot of hot days I should have taken advantage of the beach! It’s practically fall weather already (although I’m sure it will be 100 degrees in a week since that’s how Chicago works), but I’m a fan of the beach at night. Bringing a blanket and relaxing in comfy sweats when it’s cool out is so peaceful.

Cubs Game. I haven’t been to a Cubs game since I was about 5. Now, I live 4 blocks away from the field. I really have no excuse. This may have to wait til next season since I haven’t made it to a game yet, and we all know what the Cubs’ name stands for: Completely Useless by September...

The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side

A friend of mine recently passed away. He was only a year older than me and I’ve been thinking about how fast time goes and to try and appreciate life. I’ve been thinking about how a majority of people always think about the future opposed to living life in the now. It also made me think about how we’re never satisfied with what we have until it’s gone.

College vs. the “Real World”

I was walking to work and there is a university located downtown. I saw a bunch of “kids” walking with their DePaul University book store bags and I began to think how much I miss college! The whole time I was in college, I kept thinking how I couldn’t wait to graduate and only have to work full-time. I even attempted taking 3 summer classes one year that way I could try graduating early. I had a part-time job from the time I was 14 years old and all throughout high school and college. I always thought having a full-time job would be so much easier than having a part-time job, school full-time, and homework. Little did I know that was the life!!!

The beauty of college is you can have breaks in between classes and take naps! Going out and boozing it up with friends an average of 4 nights a week wasn’t a problem because even if I had an 8:30 am class, I could still go home and nap for a couple hours (or sometimes 4…) before my next class. Unfortunately, I do not live in Europe and get siestas, so it’s impossible for me to hang like I used to!

Needless to say, I would trade lives with a college freshman in a heartbeat!! Working full-time, living on your own, and being a “grown up” are not all it’s cracked up to be!!

Single Life vs. Being Committed

Why is it that when we’re single we want a boyfriend/girlfriend, but when we’re in a committed relationship, we want the freedom of the single life?

I’ve always considered myself a “relationship person.” I had two serious relationships in college and was happy. But then at some point I freaked out and needed to be single. In my second serious relationship, marriage was in the talks. I wanted it more than anything until I freaked out and broke the poor guy’s heart. This was 2 years ago. Since then, I have gone on countless dates or “hung out” with guys, but have yet to be in any sort of an actual relationship. And I’ve never been more ready to be in a relationship now. My fear is once I’m in one I’ll wish I was single again!

Appreciate what You have and Live in the Now

Something I would like to try and work on is appreciating what I have. I would also like to experience life and stop worrying about the future. I’m a planner, but planning can only go so far. Why plan for the future when you may not have it?

Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow. –Albert Einstein

I should be a martyr...

Well, not really. But do you ever see people on the street, public transportation, etc. and just look at them and feel bad for them? By living in the city and working downtown, I see a lot of homeless people and crazies on a regular basis. My heart goes out for them. My heart also melts for the elderly. I wonder if they have family and friends and hoping they're not alone in life. Wishing I could start a business that drove the edlerly around for free so they didn't have to walk everywhere and take public transportation.

But my heart also goes out for the people who look like a hot mess. I'm not saying I'm some fashionista or the next Miss America, but I definitely don't look like some people out there! What made me think of this is the poor 20 something year old I saw at the el stop this morning (Chicago's equivalent of the subway). The poor guy looked like he had makeup on from the night before and didn't wash it off (but he didn't) and his facial features just seemed smooshed together. Now, I feel bad for him. There wasn't much hope for him, except maybe if he waxed his unibrow.

Do you ever see people and wish you could pretend your Stacy London and Clinton Kelly (from What Not to Wear) and tell people they look like a hot mess and give them suggestions how to improve their look? Well, I do. Especially when I'm bored on the el. It's amazing what people wear.

For example, I was on the el and could not take my eyes off a woman's outfit a few months ago. She had a lilac trench coat, with silk pants (that looked like pajama pants) with orange flowers, and brown shoes. I wondered if that woman owned a mirror and what compelled her to wear such a thing. If you don't believe me, see for yourself!


My point is, I wish I could go up to people and tell them how they can improve themselves...well, without getting chased after or beat up...

Blame it on the ah-ah-ah-alcohol

We've all been there. You wake up the next day and think, "What the f*** happened last night?" That was me Saturday night...err, early Sunday morning when I woke up from a ridiculous stomach ache from drinking TOO much (gotta love open bars for the measly $25) and hardly eating anything before the debauchery began.

Now, I despise when people use alcohol as their excuse for cheating on their significant other, acting like a complete moron, etc., but sometimes you really do need to blame it on the alcohol. I think it's safe to say that you shouldn't blame your mistakes completely on your boozing habits, but I do think it definitely influences your decisions.

For example, I probably would not have gotten extremely excited over the 2 pairs of biker sunglasses I won in a raffle on Saturday (I don't own a motorcycle nor have ever been on one). I then proceed to pose against a wall modeling the new sunglasses thinking I looked sexy...until I saw the picture when I was sober and just looked like I was holding onto the wall to help me stand up. Or taking another picture and posing with my head near my friend's boob. We won't continue on with the other crazy stuff me and my boozing buddies did on Saturday, but I think you get the point.

And the worst is, you don't remember any of it until someone posts a picture on Facebook, MySpace, or some other lovely social media site. So not only do you get to see what type of fool you made out of yourself, but everyone else does too! Wonderful!

Needless to say, I am detoxing for the next 2 weeks. I drank more this past week than I have in the past 6 months and my liver isn't too happy with me.

Maybe SHE'S Just Not that Into You...

Whether you first heard the phrase on Sex and the City when Carrie's boyfriend, Berger, tells Miranda that a guy she went on a date with is "Just not that into you" or you read the book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo or saw the movie, you've heard the phrase, "He's Just not that into you." Well, did it ever occur to you that maybe SHE'S just not that into you?

Now, I'm not saying I'm a relationship expert, but I have learned a thing or two over the past 7 years I've been dating and listening to my girlfriends' dating problems.

I feel there are double standards when it comes to men and women in the sex and relationship world. Forget the whole, she's a whore/he's a stud when it comes to the numbers of people someone has had sex with. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about why is it annoying when a girl gets attached and shows she likes you by texting you all the time, but it's OK for a guy to do it to you?

The reason I bring this up is because I met this guy a couple weeks ago. I was slightly intoxicated and was playing flippy cup (or "flip cup" for you non-Chicagoans). He was the ref and complimented me on my chugging skills, where I then proceeded to say, "Chugging isn't my only skill, you should hear my burping." Yes, I'm one classy broad. For some reason, he was still interested in me. The first few days we text messaged constantly. I figured, "We're just getting to know each other and things will die down." Well, they didn't. He continued to text constantly like he was in one of those "My bff Jill" commercials and it got quite annoying. He also tried inviting himself to be my date to a friend's wedding (after only knowing him for 4 days) and kept trying to get me to invite him over to my place.

Here is my question: If men don't like women being clingy and up their toosh, why would a man think it's OK for him to act that way? Maybe someone women are into it, but not me. There was a huge red CREEPER alert flashing when all of this happened.

I understand, most men are not like this and it's usually women who are (but not to say all). However, I have come across several creepy clingers and let me tell you, it is a turn off.

Now, I know I should suck it up and tell the guy he's coming on too strong and I'm just not that into him. But it's hard! No one wants to hurt someone's feelings! Especially after they've called you and left a humiliating voicemail message at 2 am saying, "Hi...I'm drunk...I like you."

I'm still working on the courage and hoping for the right time to tell him I'm not interested in pursuing anything. In the meantime, I've been using the subtle "I'm just not that into you" hints. The book and movie, "He's Just Not That Into You," explain ways to tell if he's just not that into you. And in my mind, some of these apply to men.

He's Just Not that Into You if He's Not Calling You. I've listened to the audio book of He's Just Not That Into You and the authors role play. The female makes excuses like, "Well, maybe he's busy. He was going out of town for work." And then Greg is the voice of reason. Or if you've seen the movie, Gigi makes the excuse that Conor hasn't called because "Maybe his grandma died or maybe he lost my number or is out of town or got hit by a cab..." and Alex straight up tells her "Or maybe he is not interested in seeing you again." My point is DON'T MAKE EXCUSES! Last I checked, it only takes a second to shoot someone a text message to say "hi" or "Just thinking about you" or "Hope you're having a great day!" And if he really is that busy and is interested, he'll tell you he's busy and not just ignore you. Point is, if someone is really into you, they'll make the time for you.

Men, this applies to you also. Most of you think we're neurotic and clingy to begin with, so if we're not responding to your texts, calls, emails, or any other form of technological communication or just in general seem distant, maybe we're just not that into you!

My point being is, dating rules should apply no matter what gender you are!

Welcome to my new blog!

I have been contemplating creating a blog for quite some time and finally did! I have always said my first love was writing. I have been writing stories since I could write! Even though my grammar may not always be correct, writing has always been an escape for me.

I have a personal blog where I used to write about my day-to-day activities, but I have always wanted to start a blog with content that has substance and worth while. Now, I'm not saying all of my posts are going to be deep and philosophical, but I want to talk about more than just "I went to a lounge with my girlfriends last night and we had a few drinks..." etc. I want to make YOU (if I ever get any followers :-) ) think too!

More to come...soon...hopefully! :-)