Maybe SHE'S Just Not that Into You...

Whether you first heard the phrase on Sex and the City when Carrie's boyfriend, Berger, tells Miranda that a guy she went on a date with is "Just not that into you" or you read the book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo or saw the movie, you've heard the phrase, "He's Just not that into you." Well, did it ever occur to you that maybe SHE'S just not that into you?

Now, I'm not saying I'm a relationship expert, but I have learned a thing or two over the past 7 years I've been dating and listening to my girlfriends' dating problems.

I feel there are double standards when it comes to men and women in the sex and relationship world. Forget the whole, she's a whore/he's a stud when it comes to the numbers of people someone has had sex with. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about why is it annoying when a girl gets attached and shows she likes you by texting you all the time, but it's OK for a guy to do it to you?

The reason I bring this up is because I met this guy a couple weeks ago. I was slightly intoxicated and was playing flippy cup (or "flip cup" for you non-Chicagoans). He was the ref and complimented me on my chugging skills, where I then proceeded to say, "Chugging isn't my only skill, you should hear my burping." Yes, I'm one classy broad. For some reason, he was still interested in me. The first few days we text messaged constantly. I figured, "We're just getting to know each other and things will die down." Well, they didn't. He continued to text constantly like he was in one of those "My bff Jill" commercials and it got quite annoying. He also tried inviting himself to be my date to a friend's wedding (after only knowing him for 4 days) and kept trying to get me to invite him over to my place.

Here is my question: If men don't like women being clingy and up their toosh, why would a man think it's OK for him to act that way? Maybe someone women are into it, but not me. There was a huge red CREEPER alert flashing when all of this happened.

I understand, most men are not like this and it's usually women who are (but not to say all). However, I have come across several creepy clingers and let me tell you, it is a turn off.

Now, I know I should suck it up and tell the guy he's coming on too strong and I'm just not that into him. But it's hard! No one wants to hurt someone's feelings! Especially after they've called you and left a humiliating voicemail message at 2 am saying, "Hi...I'm drunk...I like you."

I'm still working on the courage and hoping for the right time to tell him I'm not interested in pursuing anything. In the meantime, I've been using the subtle "I'm just not that into you" hints. The book and movie, "He's Just Not That Into You," explain ways to tell if he's just not that into you. And in my mind, some of these apply to men.

He's Just Not that Into You if He's Not Calling You. I've listened to the audio book of He's Just Not That Into You and the authors role play. The female makes excuses like, "Well, maybe he's busy. He was going out of town for work." And then Greg is the voice of reason. Or if you've seen the movie, Gigi makes the excuse that Conor hasn't called because "Maybe his grandma died or maybe he lost my number or is out of town or got hit by a cab..." and Alex straight up tells her "Or maybe he is not interested in seeing you again." My point is DON'T MAKE EXCUSES! Last I checked, it only takes a second to shoot someone a text message to say "hi" or "Just thinking about you" or "Hope you're having a great day!" And if he really is that busy and is interested, he'll tell you he's busy and not just ignore you. Point is, if someone is really into you, they'll make the time for you.

Men, this applies to you also. Most of you think we're neurotic and clingy to begin with, so if we're not responding to your texts, calls, emails, or any other form of technological communication or just in general seem distant, maybe we're just not that into you!

My point being is, dating rules should apply no matter what gender you are!